It’s not a bad place to sit and write a blog post, keeping an eye on the clouds and the very nearly dry laundry. Blogging is weird, sometimes there’s loads to say and at other times there’s bugger all – we’ve had a bugger all phase.
We’re still going out, still marvelling at the changing seasons, still exploring our small world, still trying to find our place and space within it. We still see our psych twice a week – it must be a year now since we doubled our appointments – and can see massive differences in who and how we are compared to before. We’re still waiting for a replacement for our much missed CPN, but our psych is chasing that up next week and patience is something we have in spades.
We’ve always found pleasure in small, sometimes mundane, things and that is very much still the case – we potter a lot, in the house and the garden, and we’re slowly exploring what everyone likes to do and how to incorporate that into our shared day.
We’re also questioning things we’ve been told – and taught – by an assortment of mental health professionals, and unpicking the guilt around their insistence that our daughter is some huge “protective factor” that we have to stay alive for. Thanks for that, but it’s not true – as we look at her increasingly independent future, we are realising that we can be alive because we want to be, maybe even because life is worth living, and not because we have to for her, as nothing but an opposite to dying. Because if we pin everything on staying alive for her, what happens when she doesn’t need us as much? So yeah, that was a lot of big – and still ongoing – thinking.
And finally, we’re still loving the shower. The UK has had a bit of a heatwave and to be able to just jump – not literally – in the shower and cool off has been beyond fantastic. There isn’t a day when we aren’t grateful – a much overused word – to have it, and to all the people that made it possible.