We went to therapy today, in the pouring rain, wearing a waterproof coat that used to be snug but now looks like we’ve borrowed it from a giant. The sound of rain on that type of fabric, or on a hood, or an umbrella, takes us back to a time we would rather forget. It wasn’t a great start. But we took the photo we discussed with our CPN with us and we started our appointment by talking about not belonging.
We have, over the last however many years, had to alter our perception of our biological family. Today we learnt that our view of them is still skewed, massively so. We aren’t going to go into details, it isn’t helpful or necessary. Suffice to say it’s a good job it was still raining when we left because nobody could see our tears.
We came home and had a brief rant to our friend, a mug of tea, a handful of smokes. We were calm by the time our daughter came home from school. But underneath that calm exterior we are hurting. We don’t say this very often but what happened to us wasn’t fair.
We are back with our psych on Friday. It feels like a very long time until that appointment.