This is our current mantra, and we have been going to bed – properly to bed, with hot water bottles and in our jamas – as early as 6pm. Bed is warm and cosy and safe. Once it’s dark, we don’t want to be downstairs and the choice is either go to bed or risk switching to someone who isn’t appropriate for our daughter to meet. In bed, while she’s busy drawing/gaming in her room, we can usually deal with whatever the day has brought up for us without her being any the wiser. We used to spend most of our time on – rather than in – the bed, crocheting and catching up with Netflix on the iPad. Now, we go to lie in the dark. Sometimes we sleep, but mainly we just lie down. It has become an essential part of our day. We – or I, to be more accurate – are still available for our daughter, who will call to us before making her way from her room to ours. But everything else ceases to exist. We just are. Nighttime can be our worst time but also our best – the siren song of the darkness can be strong, calling us out to walk – and there is no pattern to whether a night will be good or bad, and bad nights range from bad to horrific. So we’ll take these quiet times in bed for as long as we need them, whenever we need them and regardless of what else we should be doing.