Not much, really. Same old, same old. But that’s ok. We’ve managed to attend all our appointments, we survived several key dates, we plod on. The last however long has been about muddling through as best we can, letting the things that don’t really matter slide so the important things might get done. We’ve had to be really strict with our boundaries so messages go unanswered, we don’t see anyone other than our daughter and our team, we interact much less online and not at all by phone. We’ve removed all pressure associated with feeling obliged to do things – it was all too much and we needed a break, still do really.
Our secret Twitter account – it’s not a secret really, but it is locked – has been huge help. Surrounded by people who get it, we’ve been able to say what’s been happening in a way we can’t anywhere else. Nobody there bats an eyelid at some of our more unusual behaviour and coping strategies and their support has been invaluable. We thought long and hard before setting up the account, but that safe space is one of the best decisions we’ve made. To all of the people on that account, thank you.
A lot of time is spent under our bed, where it’s safe and we can just exist. We deliberately bought a bed with plenty of clearance for just that purpose, and it works. Yes, there are things we could, probably should, be doing but they just aren’t possible at the moment so our focus is on making sure our daughter is warm, clean, fed etc and everything else can wait or be done to a bare minimum. We are still crocheting – a blanket for a lovely friend and for our sister’s new baby due in two weeks – and appreciate the mindless repetition of the stitches.
Therapy is on hold for the Christmas break – we see our CPN on 6th January and our psych on 8th – but we have been honest with our team about the things we are struggling with. Whether they, or anyone, can help remains to be seen and until then we muddle through. We’re good at that.