What, if anything, have I learnt from yesterday? Plenty, as it happens. I’ve learnt that anxiety is sucking the life out of so many people, but that those people continue to reach out to and support others. I’ve learnt that sometimes you have to show people just how bad things are, and that there are positives to doing so.
Anxiety sneaks in and sucks your life away without you realising. My life isn’t inside these four walls, it is out there in the big wide world – the same big wide world that is so scary it sends me running home.
Asking internally is producing limited results – this is me, not them. My psych disagrees, and to an extent I think she may be right. So much of what is marketed/suggested as helping anxiety isn’t designed for multiples which is why nothing I have in my ‘tool box’ helps me – when I did CBT it was assumed I was a single. The idea of staying with anxiety, of riding it out, simply retraumatises me and does nothing to improve my mental state – if anything it makes me worse.
I don’t have answers, not for me and not for any of the other people clutching at straws for something, anything, to give them back some small vestige of control. What I do have is hope. Hope that this will improve, hope that I will find a way forward. It’s all I have and all I can offer others.