I’ve been off my daily meds for over a year but it’s time to admit defeat. I’m not anti medication – see my post here – but I firmly believe it is only worth taking if it is beneficial. I was not better or worse on or off my meds, coming off them was the right thing to do. I still have Diazepam as required but it’s not helping at the moment.
Today I had an appointment with my psych, and after the success of last week’s session – here and here – I wasn’t expecting to find myself struggling to leave my house. I wasn’t expecting to spend the session pacing again. I wasn’t expecting to have to leave early. But I did. It’s time to admit that I can’t do this on my own, so I rang my doctors’ surgery and asked if it would be possible to run through my options over the phone.
The doctor has just rung, and I’m impressed. She understood that I needed to see what was available before putting myself through an appointment at the surgery, and also said that she didn’t want to prescribe over the phone which I’m pleased about given my complex history. She’s going to ring my CPN and discuss it with her, I’ll probably find out more at our appointment next week.
I don’t mind admitting I’m a bit gutted to find I can’t do this on my own, but it’s sensible to admit I’m struggling rather than carry on as I am out of a mistaken sense of pride and stubbornness. I just hope they can come up with something that will help a little bit.