I have been having some problems with anxiety over the past few days. On Tuesday I took the dog into town to meet a friend for coffee but had to leave pretty much straight away and walk home fighting a panic attack. Yesterday I felt ok while walking the dog so tried again but had to leave almost as soon as I got there and the walk home wasn’t pleasant. Today I struggled to leave the house to go to my therapy appointment even after taking my PRN meds, and was really on edge when my CPN came this afternoon for our appointment – I just wanted to be alone.
To me, this feels like going backwards to how I was over five years ago when I couldn’t leave my house and was almost constantly anxious. My psych, however, thinks it is one of my parts feeling unsafe. I don’t know. But I know I hate it.
I’m not sure what I need to do to settle myself and/or whichever part or parts are anxious and worried. So for now, it’s back to baby steps and relying on the dog to keep me grounded and safe. This didn’t beat me the first time, and it won’t beat me now.