CMHT are making cuts. Well, I knew that after my appointment with my CPN on Monday, but it was interesting to have my psych’s take on it. I raised the same issues with her as I did here yesterday, and she gave me some valuable insight.
Firstly, it isn’t my fault. My psych says so. It feels like it is, but that’s the trigger speaking – a cycle of issues surrounding attachment (see my blog post here) and never being ‘good enough’ run very deep. But, although it feels the same, the motivation is very different because, unlike in the past, my CPN isn’t motivated to hurt me.
Secondly, and this makes me cross, my psych agrees that I am not ‘better’ so any progress I have or have not made seems to me to be pretty much irrelevant. A faceless, nameless person, somewhere in the mental health system has decided to reduce the frequency of my appointments despite the fact I am not ‘better’.
It feels to me as if I am praised by my psych for forming healthy attachments, for trusting my CPN, and at the same time the powers that be are penalising me for the exact same thing. It really is a double edged sword.
This is the first time I’ve experienced, first hand, the impact of austerity and cuts and government targets and whatever else on mental health services. I know I’ve been very lucky. I also know that this is just the first cut, that there will likely be others. Not just for me, but for all service users. I can only hope they leave someone available to pick up the pieces.