The term ‘energy vampire’ has very negative connotations (see here, for example) but it describes, in two words, exactly what I do. So I used it, and I think it can be a positive thing. Allow me to explain.
I discovered, some time ago, that I can steal energy from people. Steal is the wrong word, because I only do it with permission. So I call it ‘leeching’. It was in therapy with my psych that I first found I could do it, and I don’t really understand how it works.
At my appointment today I mentioned that my CPN had a totally different energy to my psych, and she asked me how. I tried to explain that my CPN’s energy feels familiar to me, whereas my psych’s energy is different to mine. I struggled with words to describe my CPN’s energy – solid, immovable, steady – before settling for what I said at the time was possibly my worst analogy, but which now makes more sense.
Imagine, for a moment, that my energy is made up of green balls. I don’t know why green, it just came into my head. When I leech energy from my CPN I top up my supply of green balls – maybe a slightly different shade of green, but I find her energy very similar to my own. My psych, however, has a totally different energy – more mobile, almost – so when I leech her energy I add a red ball (again, no idea why red) to my green ones.
I’ve been leeching my psych’s energy for longer than my CPN’s, and do it – always with permission – by sitting close enough to make physical contact. I find my psych’s energy calming for me and my parts, my CPN’s energy grounding but only for me. It’s interesting to me to feel the difference, and I can’t explain it.
So yes, I am an energy vampire. But I’m a nice one.