I know now why I wanted to be out walking last night. And it followed me into this morning, unseen, and stole the day from me.
I am slowly piecing together my day through the haze of a little bit too much diazepam, but of the ten hours since K left for school I can only account fully for an hour. I have evidently been out at some point because I have obtained a gorgeous scarf and picked up my prescription from the chemist.
I have a vague recollection of seeing two women from CMHT, but one of them I thought was off so maybe I dreamt that. My little sister says I talked to her on the phone for about an hour. I think my CPN rang me but I’m not sure. I know I have slept, and dreamt the kind of dreams I get from large doses of diazepam.
Alarmingly, I don’t remember K coming home from school, don’t remember her getting her own tea. It’s a good job she’s able to fend for herself sometimes. I woke about half an hour ago, and I am struggling to stay awake long enough to type this post.
I can only hope tomorrow will be a better day.