Today I met with my CPN for the first time since before Christmas, and we had a lot of ground to cover – I’ve been rather busy losing the plot recently.
We discussed the meds, that I had felt out of options (see here), what led to my involvement with the police (see here), my nocturnal wanderings (see here) and the problems I’m having studying (see here and here). I also mooted that this might be an indication of a new part coming forward, although neither of us know that for sure.
I also voiced my decision to have the Crisis Team (IHTT) removed from my care plan, stating that I have no intention of dealing with them unless I have no option, for example I am detained on a S135 or S136. My dealings with IHTT have been hit and miss (see here, and my open letter to them here) with more misses than hits recently and I often find their intervention makes things worse. So thanks, IHTT, for the times you’ve been fab, but you’ve failed me once too often and I would rather go it alone. Risky? Yes. But I’m still able to make my own decisions.
My CPN suggested meeting with the psychiatrist, so that any temporary medication may be easier to obtain in future but I am undecided – I managed without him this time, so I can manage without him again. Plus, he’s a man and I am wary of both men and doctors so it’s not a good combination. I will speak to the Keeper of the Magic Wands about him, I trust her opinion.
Speaking of the Keeper of the Magic Wands – and you mustn’t tell anyone, it’s a deep dark secret – I’ve put her forward for an ‘unsung heroes’ award (details here) which will probably absolutely mortify her but she deserves recognition for being as fab as she is. She’s off on sick leave soon, and I’ve promised not to worry but I know I will.
Tomorrow I get to pick my four-legged therapist up for the first time since before Christmas – it’s a year today since I first started walking her – and I’ve got a lovely long walk planned which we’ll both enjoy. A chance to blow the cobwebs away before I come home to tackle my uni assignment. I’m hoping I won’t need any more meds today which will hopefully mean I have a reasonably clear head when I finally sit down with the books.